Withered away… without a sign!!!

You withered away like an autumn leaf,

While I prayed for you to stay,

How far you’ve gone for my shadow’s reach,

It is now tough to even measure the nights and the days in which you sleep,

I look at stars for a twinkle like yours,

Or a radiant smile,

But you are gone… without a note or even a parting line,

I try to tell myself it is true,

But I still feel so numb and I still hear the blues,

I am scared… you might not come back… to see me wither with silver and lines,

When I am too old to remember you and you are not around to be mine.

Romance: the definition I was looking for!

So do people still believe in the ‘happily-ever-after’? Do those romantic candlelit dinners still exist? Well what I am really asking is that – does romance still exist? And what is romance? Do we limit it to two individuals from different genders coo chi cooing? I have been confused about this word for a long time. Every time I ask anyone, ‘Are you a romantic person?’ and they would say ‘Yes’. But when I ask to explain the same to me, they don’t really have many words in their vocabulary to do the same. I casually ask a friend recently if he believes in romance and said, “Yes! But for me romance is of a different kind.” I started twiddling my thumb, which by the way is my latest hobby, time pass and my profession these days. What kind and how many kinds are there? “It differs from one era to another, from one generation to another, from one person to another, from one historian to another and even from one Shakespeare’s play to another. For me romance is deliberation of life and then letting myself be with the part I enjoyed the most. And not necessarily the good part, but the part I exhausted myself completely and had to restart for the next victory or defeat,” he said looking at the ceiling as if it was all written there. Even my friend Jerry (remember Jerry from my previous blogs) believes in romance… but does not want to divulge which kind. So for a better insight I, yet again, stopped a traveler who like to walk past fast and raises his eyebrows every time I stop him. I showed him my question and made a face. He said, “This is something I am not open for discussion!” I didn’t want to give up and so I asked him whether he is a romantic person. He deliberated and told me the different dimensions of romance. “For your generation (he is about 10 years elder to me, so I think he is allowed to use that line) romance is limited to dating, which comes with its own expiry date. Yes, I agree that for a lot of people before this generation, it meant courtship or dating as well. But the times and the dedication toward it were different. Again a problem with this generation is that of stability. Not that my generation didn’t lack that, but there were fewer one astray than the count now. You all give too much importance to things that actually mean too little in real test of time. I still can’t fathom for the life of me how it works for all of you,” he said clutching his traveler’s bag firmly. “I romance the feeling of vacuum that will be created after I am gone. Remember what Ashoka did? He gave up on everything not because he didn’t value it but he knew there is more to life than this. He created a vacuum, which the others felt. But he went on to lead a different life. There is more in the nothingness that you can see. When you are too busy saying, ‘that person said this about me, the life is not fair to me, everyone has an agenda against me’, you are blinding yourself from the love of that nothingness that holds the essence. I am no saint, I have made my share of mistakes, but I have looked and looked very hard for the answers. Some of them have been answered and some are waiting to be answered. Now I will leave you with that,” he said with a suppressed smile and walked again, fast. He left me with two words that make me ponder with great pleasure, ‘romanticising idolism’. Though I began asking what my generation thinks can be related to romance, but I now admit that one can romance just about anything and anyone. Am I a romantic? Yes! I have a romance with every line written about life, music and Al Pachino. Is there more to romance with in life? Oh definitely! But for that I have to still prepare myself to look at that nothingness… that vacuum. Now I am going to go back to my very first question, does it have a happily-ever-after? Ah and I found my perfect answer in a quote by Oscar Wilde --- ‘They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever.’ Ain’t it romantic?

Read between the lines...

For all is not always lost and everything is not always found! So my trips to the lost and found continue… silently. And yet somehow there are sounds that keep the questions going. And imagines from the past that like to tease and wince. My eyes are open, though my mind is sleepy. Is there anyone who is ready to say, ‘it’s all going to be ok!’? Is there anyone to tell me the way? Or is there still more to read in the lines on my hand?

WORDS

Words: This is my way of looking at these words that can be most common used in our daily lives and yet I don’t, sometimes, agree with the dictionary definition.

Change, it is always welcome people say. But yes the way they change is something they don’t have to bear the brunt of. The people around them have to, because they notice it and sometimes they have to face it as well.

Truth, it is bitter and yet a lot of us need to face it some day. It changes the whole perspective about a person, who you were before the truth came out in open and who you are after that. The only thing remains the same is your attire that you wear over your form.

Mistakes, we all make them and some people say that we need to make them so as to learn for future. Some of us make mistakes and don’t acknowledge them and some of us live with it for the rest of our lives. Then were does the learning come from?

Success, everyone dreams about it and yet only some of us achieve it. A friend of mine even writes about his unsuccessfulness (if there is any word like that), yet I know he will make it to the top of the mountain some day. As for me, I would like to climb, for as long as I can and cherish it.

Morals, we make some and we break some. Some of them are like legacies, comes to us from our folks, friends and even bosses and some are self-made, self-destructive nuclear weapons.

Time, it never stays and yes as the saying goes it never waits for anyone. And yet we go back in time to remember our joys and sorrows. I wish we could bend time the way we want to, but then time values nothing but its own self.

Promises, are they really meant to be broken? Or it is an inherent part of human nature never to keep them? This is one word that makes me question a lot of others, for I have never been able to keep a promise. Even the ones that I made to myself!

Forgive, is what we must do to be the good human beings list. However, the ones with great memory, like myself, generally forgive. But don’t forget!

Love, is a myth that only can be explained by those who think they are in it but don’t know how to define it. I see it makes people cry more than it makes them happy, so what is the point of being in it? Maybe for the sale of tissue!

War, can be between hundreds of people and can with within. The toughest war is the one, which you have to have with yourself because in that case you will end up gaining and loosing at the same time.

The long dusty road...

Through the window when I look,
There is a wind waiting to welcome me,
But when I walk into the wind,
Everything around me stops.
Is it because I am fearless now?
Is it because I have nothing more to lose?
Is it because there eh no prayer anymore?
Or is it because I am not the same mandymore?
There is no one to answer these,
There is no Bible to preach,
There is a life that I have to lead,
A smile to fake… a film to make,
I have a long dusty road to take
A long dusty road to take…