Traffic... with no signals

Very recently, I have been mapping the city and the NCR quite a bit because of my new job. Client meetings, grabbing a coffee and a bite to eat, road, sun-sets, rains, fog, messages, calls, BBMs, facebook, mails, ,more mails, traffic, noise, road rage, coke studio, coke, double-date, smoking, not smoking, fights, smiles, hugs, hunger, and so much more. Grammatically such a long sentence in an English language essay is a sin, so come to life… what can I say! If we crib about the traffic on the road at peak hours, then what do we do about the traffic in our head? And especially when you feel every emotion at the same time – love, confusion, guilt, withdrawal, anger, frustration and helplessness. Now you would think I am PMSing… well really dude these days it is Pre, Present and Post. So basically PERMANENT for most women and men as well (trust me). All I want to do the end of the day is have a bubble bursting word-game over the phone with Mr Hair Gel (you’ll know I don’t like naming people in my blogs), do a bit of farming on my virtual farm on FB (judge me as much as you want, I know you do it too) and sleep hugging my pillow and missing a jacket lately.

But today I chose not to do that! There was too much confusion, commotion and traffic in my head today. I try very hard to blabber it all out to the loving creatures I have around me, who do love me back and can be very patient listener surprisingly. But I feel very lost for words at that time. It is like finding a title for a poem you wrote about your favourite pen and somehow you end up with something as straight as “My Red Pen”. Jeez not that I ever wrote a poem like that! All this so-called “thinking” happed after I could not make it for my most favourite part of the evening… coffee break at CCD Taj Palace.

I realized that while I was in such a rush to make my perfect scrapbook memories, I missed out on the fact that I might not have this forever. I never believed in the saying, “Life is like an ice cream. Enjoy it before it melts.” I have always like things permanent. But here I am happy being a phase of a phase. Don’t get me wrong, I am not cribbing. I am just surprised with myself. Five years back when I was in love, I had felt the same, it is just that then I had wanted the end… not this time.

How lovely the colour green looks. It is my favourite colour these days. And yet it is the colour of envy. I do envy a lot of people. My friends who stay with their parents, my friends who are still away from the marriage pressure and one more person. This is one colour that makes you feel more human than most others. And reminds you that life never has a fairytale ending… neither will mine.