I don’t remember the last time I spent time with myself. Quite, alone, doing nothing… just staring at a wall blankly. I hate crowd, where people just want to scratch themselves, look at you as if you are the last women on earth, treat every corner of the city as public convenience and just be a part of the crowd. I want to step aside and be away from this crowd. For a change when they all wear saffron, white and green; I want to wear pink. When everyone is jumping into the pool of success, I want to just pull my feet up on a table and scream, ‘I don’t know how to swim’. When everyone is racing to take the bus, I want to walk so slow that I miss it. I don’t want to sound like a looser, but yes I am tired. At 25, I already have droopy shoulders, and white strands of hair, a prominent laughter line and no urge to PMS anymore.
My god, I know what is wrong with me I am growing old. I have reached a stage when I can’t blame my parents for hyper ventilating for changing my single status, can’t blame my friends for not being in touch, can’t blame my maid for not coming everyday as I forget to open to door for her and definitely can’t blame the God… I always knew the rules of being a human. Aging is something that I can’t stop, but yes I can stop cribbing.
I wrote all this because I am not the only one going through these mini frequencies of strange behaviour. We all our, but we never stop to realise that we were not always like this.
I am a very carefree person, smiling all the time, making people smile and the only odd one who loves Sunflowers. I had just forgotten all this. I am planning to slow down a bit. Take time to look at my frown lines and smile to enhance my laughter line and even take pleasure in that. Today I got time to remember myself. And so I write this to make a confession that I am not insane… I am just a human being. Damn… where have I heard that line before?
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