Every time I go home to Jodhpur and then come back to Delhi, I realise how this city has a habit of making me fall in love with it all over again. And yet when I spend each day here, it makes me want to go out and discover another city. I don’t know how the other immigrants of this city feel, but I have the whole love-hate thing going on here. After spending good eight years here at a stretch, I feel like I still don’t know the city too well. And yet I am such a Dilliwali myself. And just when I was trying to understand this arrogant, annoying, beautiful, modified, scary, stylish and self-conscious city I got a mail that I can’t help but share with everyone. These are some typical Dilliwala traits, I have some, I have seen some and I have heard some… quite funny how people observe.
You know you are from Delhi when...
1. You drink only on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday to Sunday evenings. And try not drinking on Tuesday. Wonder why!
2. Treating a friend means - Daaru Shaaru te kabbab shabaab.
3. Even in the most posh colonies, you hear, “Aaloo lelo, Bhindi le lo, Pyaaz le lo, Tamatar le lo...”
4. And you hear women asking the vegetable vendor, “Bhaiyaa dhaniya hari mirchi nahi diya!” (Even with Half a kilo Carrot - Dhania & Hari Mirch is expected free) ;-)
5. A place to meet is Mocha, CCD, Barista, Hookah.
6. You use the word “setting” or “jugaad” at-least once a day.
7. You have not visited either of - Qutub Minar, Red Fort, Lotus Temple. It is only for tourists, so Delhiites say.
8. You ride on the cycle rickshaw in NOIDA (more popularly known as NEODA) - haggle over the price, but still pity rickshaw walla’s condition and give him what he asked.
9. You glare at people who call Gol Guppas as Pani Puri!
10. You always ask the vendor, “Bhaiya yeh Gol-Guppe Aate ki hai ya Sooji ke?”
11. Schooling is best in Delhi not because of CBSE, but because you’ve had school cancelled thrice due to cold in winters & summer vacations pre-poned due to sudden increase heat in summers and at least two rainy day off during monsoon.
12. You have been to a wedding at a Mehrauli farmhouse at least once.
14. You call the waiter in the restaurant “boss” or “Pappey” & tack on “yaar” “bhai” to almost every sentence.
15. You know that Pappay Da Dhaba or Kake Da Hotel has better butter chicken than Taj. You’ve at least tried it once! And you see a BMW, a Porsche or a Mercedes parked outside it!
16. You describe practically every other person on the planet as “vella”. (‘Idle’ or Nikamma in Punjabi).
17. You see middle-aged Aunties wearing Gucci shades and holding LV bags having Gol-Gappas in GK or Bhelpuri in South-Ex along with Diet Coke!
18. You call every stranger Bhaiyya.
19. You refer to East Delhi as ‘Jamuna Paar’.
20. You refer to AIIMS as Medical.
21. Pretty girls as Totta, Maal or Bamb (Punjabi for Bomb).
22. Aashiq mizaz boys as Majnu di Aulad!
23. You don’t buy tickets for a music concert or cricket match, but try to use political contacts... of the deputy secretary of the chief secretary of the Minister of State for Khadi.
24. You overtake everyone from the wrong side and stare into his/her eyes while doing so.
25. You have at least two cars and a motorbike at home.
26. And you have fought at least once every month with neighbours over parking.
27. You park your car and take an auto-rickshaw to Lajpat Nagar / Rajouri/ Kamla Nagar/ Karol Bagh. But CP, you don’t get parking space easily, yet you go always in your own vehicle.
28. And then you say apni kanvense (conveyance) howe na ta badi Kanvinyance (convenience) hondi hai ji!
29. You’ve hit 120 kmph at Nelson Mandela Marg and waited for midnight to do it.
30. You have bribed a traffic cop (Mama) at least once, every month.
31. You know that a farmhouse has nothing to do with cattle or farming. It is luxurious hangout for whole night.
32. You use “contacts” (jugaad) for everything, from getting movie tickets to restaurant bookings to play-school admissions.
33. You have had Anda parantha outside Vikram hotel and Bun Omlette at Dhaula Kuan, Kulfi at Karol Bagh, Gol Gappe at India Gate, Dosa at Madras Hotel, Chana/Kulcha at Scindia House and Chaat at UPSC.
34. Metro rail is your pride but you travel in your car.
35. You call people from North-East ‘chinkis’.
36. You think EVERY South Indian comes from ‘Madras’ and is Madrasi.
37. You feel indicating which way you are going to turn your vehicle is an information security leak.
38. You are a good driver because you are correct in your guess of what the driver in the front vehicle will do.
39. The only time you went to the Chidiya Ghar (Zoo) was on a school picnic.
40. You expect around 10 FM STATIONS in every city! Woho!
41. Despite all the good and bad... You still Love Delhi
42. You keep singing ... Dilli hai Dil Walon ki... Oye Balle Balle!
